People can’t changeVS.People can change“.

We think these are the only two options. But there is a third that is much less discussed.

Some people can change, while others cannot

How do you know who can or can’t change? Well…it’s a gut feeling. In my experience, this feeling has been 100% correct.

Some of the telltale characteristics of someone who can change are –


  • Motivated
  • Self-reflective
  • Apologetic
  • Sympathetic
  • Humble
  • Intelligent
  • Dependable

Those are just some of the things that I’ve noticed in people who have bettered themselves over time.

Some of the telltale characteristics of someone who can’t change are –


  • Arrogant
  • Self-centered
  • Impulsive
  • Unapologetic
  • Apathetic
  • Bossy
  • Selfish

Those are just some of the things that I’ve noticed in people who have stayed practically the same over more than five years.

Now, these people who ”can’t” change, that doesn’t mean that nothing about them ever changes. They may cut their hair, start going to the gym, drink a little less, go to church twice a year – yada yada yada. I’m not saying that every little detail about them will always stay the same. Rather, I’m saying that they never evolve.

These sort of people love attention. More than your average person does. They crave it, they need it, they have got to have it and will do anything they can to get it. They’ll compromise themselves and the others around them just to get a laugh, a compliment or a “cool” nickname. They fake it till they make it and nearly everyone is impressed by them. They’re the sort of person that when you bring them up, everyone is like “ohhhh I looove ____, he/she is such a good guy/girl”. And you just sort of sit there baby barfing in your mouth because you know the truth.

These are the types of people who rarely let anyone in. Rarely. I’m talking, they’re maybe themselves around 10 people in their whole life. Their own family doesn’t even know who they are. And even when they do let someone in, it isn’t all the way. They never ever reveal everything about themselves to anyone. Why? The truth is because they don’t know who they are. And they’re not going to take the time to figure it out, because they’re too busy enjoying the attention that they’re getting for pretending to be something that they’re not.

The people who can change, well you can see that for yourselves. They make a mistake, they hurt you – just like anyone else can. But, they apologize and they do not do it again. Not only because they don’t want to hurt you again, but because they want to be a better person. They take the time to realize that they don’t want to be that sort of person anymore and they they change it. Just like that. Because they can.

I’ve seen these sorts of people. People who have made mistakes, big ones. They hurt somebody, they made a mess. It took them a while to reflect on their behavior. Maybe even a good while. But, a year later when I look back on who they used to be….they’re a different person. They have learned from their mistakes. They have evolved. They don’t make that same mistake again, because they work every day to be a better person than they were when they made that mistake.

Anyway, this isn’t the absolute and final truth. Just my truth. You’ll know the difference between these two kinds of people when you meet them. Really, you will. And you’ll probably meet more people who can change, because a lot of people do want to be their best selves. But I promise you, you’ll never forget the people who can’t change. They make themselves unforgettable.



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