Hey guys! I’m writing a little bit later than usual. This is because I went to the carnival with my sister, nephew and niece. I tell you what, they make those Ferris wheels even taller than they used to.
Anywho, it’s Friday- woo hoo! Today went a little slowly, but as soon as I got off of work I began having a great time. However, I never stay up this late and there is a good reason for it. I start to remember back to the days that I did stay up this late, every night. Why? I’d stay up because of him.
He would be texting me, late into the night, unless of course he was with me. He’d be asking me what I was doing, while he was out drinking with his friends. He’d tell me that he misses me even though we had just seen each other two hours ago. He’d be getting all confident because he had two beers in him. Telling me how much he loved me, wanted me, and how he planned on keeping me forever.
I thought that this, that he, was love. I thought that the mystery, mistrust and scandal of it all made for a healthy American relationship. He took what he wanted, at all costs. I didn’t realize that it was an abnormal trait to have.
He sucked five years, on and off, right out of me. I had multiple other relationships, but as soon as they got serious, there he was to make me second guess myself. We were never more than friends. But never less than soul mates. In reality, we were never either of those, we were enemies. He was the exact opposite of everything that I believe, that I want and that I need.
I don’t miss it. I don’t miss the tears, anger, and numbness. I don’t miss the loopy feeling that I would get when he would feed me one too many drinks. I don’t miss listening to that obnoxious fire alarm, beeping because it needed a battery. I don’t miss the red sheets and Chinese decor. I do. Not. Miss. It.
The night reminds me of him, because it is dark and untelling. You do not know what is out there and you don’t really want to. But, just because you’re not going to go find out what is in the dark….it doesn’t mean that what’s in the dark won’t come to find you.
I hope you all have enjoyed your Friday, I’ll post again soon!