Thank the Lord, it’s Friday. I just want to hide under a rock all weekend to recover from my busy week. My mind is sort of blank, minus a few wondering thoughts. I thought I’d share them with you.
I’ve been thinking about existence a lot lately. Why do I exist? Do I have a purpose? If I don’t, can I make my own purpose? I think that everyone has a niche in life, and you just need to find yours. I believe that a lot of people are too scared to search for theirs, so they’re left unsatisfied. What I do not understand is the concept of the typical American life.
Let me paint you a picture:
You go to college and get a master’s, bachelor’s, doctorate, associate, whatever. You then search for a job that is at least semi-related to your degree. Perhaps you don’t even end up working in the field which you studied in. You work several different jobs that lead up to your final career choice. You find a partner and settle down to have kids. You spend your life worrying about paying the mortgage, health insurance, car payment and feeding your children. Then your children decide they want to go to college. You do your best to pay for some of, if not all of, your kid’s tuition bills. You work until your 65 and then you retire. You get just enough money a month to pay the bills and not much else. You spend your days cleaning the house, occasionally fishing or golfing and fussing over your grandchildren. You reflect on life and wonder if you chose the right path. Perhaps you’re happy- content, even. But there are so many “ifs” that you can’t get out of your mind. You wish that you had the physical ability to pursue some more of your interests, but you just feel tired. You’ve lived a long, happy life….but was it enough?
Now, there are certainly a billion variations of this. And to some people, this is ideal. I read that and can’t help but think….what’s the point? In all honesty, if that’s how my life is going to play out…I don’t know. I know that I could find happiness in the small things, like my niece’s chubby little thighs and double chocolate cake. I could take amazing vacations to foreign places. I know that I would love and be loved, which is more than anyone can ask for. But, that isn’t what I was meant to do. I know it.
I want to experience this world while I am on it. I don’t see the point in living on a planet this beautiful and not seeing every part of it. We are all members of huge group with at least one thing in common; we are all inhabitants of this planet.
Why attempt to pressure people into education, or a job that they don’t like? You can lie to yourself and pretend all that you want, but from the day that you enter high school- you’re being pressured. Everyone and everything is either directly or passively encouraging you to get an education so that you can get “a better job”. Why? So that you can support yourself and buy the things that you want. Why? Because material items are thought to bring happiness. Why? Because most people are so sad that they have to indulge themselves in order to cheer them up. Why? Because they have been coerced into a very specific lifestyle without even realizing it.
Like I said, I understand that some people genuinely enjoy this lifestyle. If you are one of those people, I’m not attempting to assault your life choices. But I have met so so so many adolescents and adults who are disappointed with their lives because they didn’t take more chances. It is not a coincidence that there are so many people who “what if” their pasts. Society does portray a “correct” way to live and I can tell you right now, I am feeling that pressure.
I’ve completed my bachelor’s degree, and I have my first office job. I could continue on this path if I wanted to, but I refuse. I cannot see myself doing this for more than a few more months. So, I am really cracking down on my goals and ambitions. I am going to figure out what it is that I want to do and then I am going to do it. No more of this playing around with an eight to four. It’s not me, and I am miserable for it. It’s not just my job that has got me down, but the whole lifestyle that comes with an eight to four. If you don’t know what that means, reference paragraph three.
I digress. I am looking forward to this extended weekend, and the opportunity to really focus inward and get some clarity. It’s time for a change and that begins with a choice. I hope that you all have a great Memorial Day weekend and are safe & entertained. I will be working on projects, seeing a few old friends and definitely doing some fishing.
What do you think “the point” is? Is there a point?